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Letter to My Unborn Kids

April 7, 2009

To my Unborn kids,

For the first time I feel like the world may be going into a different direction.  It’s moving into a direction that I feel may be good enough for you. My entire life, I figured that I’d never have kids for various reasons.   Please don’t think that it’s you (or the idea of you.)  

 (1)  The world is in peril ad infinitum.  What type of person knowingly brings their child into a world of pain?  Would that not make me selfish?  No matter how much I try to protect you, there will always be some ugly that will seep in. I am so sorry for that. War, famine, crime, grave intolerance, hate…the world is just full of it.  I am so scared that I will be unable to prepare you for what this world is.  All of the love that I can give you and all of the good intentions may not suffice.

(2) Reason # 2 is probably the more pervasive of the two.  I did not think that I was capable of even being a mediocre parent. Let alone  good one.  A great parent would have been out of the question. 

 Recently, I’ve begun to think that thinks are beginning to align.  Possibly, I am not as incompetent as I’ve been led to think.  I’m not gonna run out an try to conceive (or adopt) you today. But when you get here, I’ll be a bit less befuddled.  I need time to become the best me possible; for both of us.  I need to have something to offer you. It is important to me to discount the victimhood that my lineage dictates.  But when the time come please know:

a)  I will bring you into the world ( or my life)  only when I am part of a pair.  We will love and respect each other as equals before we even think about adding to our family.

b) I will have corrected my isolative behavior so that you may be surrounded by people that love you and will be at your avail when I am being a dick, or unreasonable , or selfish, or just a victim of my own crazy.

c) Though this world is full of bullshit,  I will not dwell on the negatives but I will teach you to appreciate the beauty, art, culture, divine design, and small miracles that life has to offer.

d)I will not lean on you to be stronger than you are capable of being at any given time.  But you will always be able to lean on me.I will hold you up.  You will never be to heavy.

e)I will never a give a free pass to anyone that may ever hurt you. Even if it may be to my benefit.  Your enemies are mine. Your pain is mine.  Anyone that does you wrong will answer to me.

f) I will never steal from you.  Money, attention, material…whatever.  What is yours is yours, exclusively.

g) I will never make you feel ashamed about who you are.  My life’s mission will include making sure you know that you are unique and special.

h)I will never bring you into this world to repair something that is broken or to keep hold of something that was never mine to possess.

i)I wil teach you healthy eathing habits and healthy movement patterns .

j)I will always wipe your tears. Anywhere. Anytime.  Never be ashamed to tell me what you feel.

k) I will serve as an example of what a good person is instead of telling you what/who you should be.  I will be the best me possible so you know that greatness is possible.

l)When I fuck up, I will apologize without shame or indignation.  I am human and therefore, fallible.  That is something that we must all learn.  No one is above making mistake,  Nor are we above correcting them.

m)I will teach you that mediocrity that not acceptable under any circumstances.  Achieving gretness takes great work.  There are no shortcuts.

n) I will never use your existance to not grow as a person.  It is quite the contrary. The fact that that I am I even thinking about you today is making me strive to be a better person for you.

o) I do not always speak in cliche’s and hackenyed language, but sometimes it it necessary.

It’s gonna be one hell of a ride.  But its a ride that we will take together. I promise you If you give me a chance I’m gonna be the best.




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